7 classes in 6 days, and now I rest

Crazy!! I am the laziest person in the world and I managed to go to 7 classes in 6 days.  I am trying to get in shape for an upcoming trip… in a week HAHAHAH.  I’ve always been a crammer, but unfortunately cramming doesn’t work with exercise like it does for academic subjects.

I’m taking my usual classes, plus I added a couple yoga classes and tried out this ballet conditioning place.   I decided to check out a yin yoga class, and holy was it weird.  I think the place I went to is very into the spiritual aspects of yoga.  It was the slowest class ever, 6 poses in an hour and a half, and I found some of it very uncomfortable and not in a good way.  I also felt like I didn’t fit in.  The ballet conditioning class was also weird – all weights, and no ballet.  At points I felt like there was danger to my knees and back, which I did not like.  However it occurred to me, that maybe part of the reason I haven’t progressed as quickly as others is my lack of abdominal strength, and other body parts.   I was taking classes with beginner girls who were proficient at pilates, yoga, etc., and they made exponential progress.  So, perhaps I need to add some body conditioning regimen to my week, I’m just not sure what I feel comfortable doing, and what I can fit into my schedule.  Maybe I have to make up my own and just be disciplined enough to do it.  The three areas that are really slowing me down are my weak abs, tight hamstrings, and weak turnout.  I am not a person who cares about extension or 180 degree turnout, but in order to dance with some degree of grace, improvement in these areas is much needed. 

Oh yeah, doofus moment.  Putting my eggs in the dance basket for now BECAUSE, I am still in really good shape despite my old age.  No pain anywhere, still feel pretty pliable.  But I am turning 35 next year, so this is obviously not a forever thing.  I want to take advantage of my health while I got it.    My other interests, photography, film, writing, can be done by an old crone. 

A lil bloggity resolution

In 2011 I discovered adult ballet blogs.   It was great to find a bunch of individuals sharing an inappropriate giddy enthusiasm for a bastardly difficult dance whose artists end their careers at the ages we’re starting. My favourite, hands down, is Adult Beginner.  Through the dance bloggy awards I just discovered another good one, Born Again Dancer, who shares more of the angst I feel about dancing. 

So, I am kind of inspired by these adult dance bloggers.  I am in a slightly different situation as I don’t pick things up as quickly.  I’ve been slogging away at classes for almost five years now and haven’t made amazing progress.  But, I am thinking.  I’d like to give a little more to ballet this year.  I usually only take one class per week because it is so hard and after class I am spent.  For awhile I tried to take two, but I was taking classes at a place I’ll call the Adult Ballet Barn and I just hated it.  They packed the classes full of students, and taught them as if they were children.  Technique was not learnt, and many of the adult ballet students promoted themselves to the next level despite the lack of technique.  It was a gong show.  Finally I just quit.  But I haven’t found a studio that offers such a flexible schedule.  Anyways, my goal this year will be to take two classes a week.  Aaaand possibly a yoga class for conditioning.  Maybe that’s too ambitious! 

I have made a little more progress in some ways this year because I’m not as mean to myself.  Being less judgmental & perfectionist.  Which in turn, has made me a better dancer (who woulda thunkit). 

Shoes for dancing

I started taking ballet when I was in grade one. My doctor recommended it for my pigeon toes, so my parents enrolled me in a free class at the local city rec centre. I remember my dad driving me to a dark and dusty shop to buy my first pair of dance shoes. They were full sole, pale pink leather capezio childrens' shoes.
Later, when I started ballet again as an adult, I bought a similar full sole, leather pair by Angelo Luzio. After a few classes I noticed the teachers and more experienced students prefer canvas split soles. I also noticed that leather gets a bit hot and smelly in the summer. So my next pair of shoes were split sole canvas sanshas. They disintegrated after a year, and I went back to my leathers. Recently I bought a fresh pair of sanshas.


As an adult, I also decided to try social dancing and flamenco. After a particularly painful lesson in a pair of street heels, I purchased capezio character shoes.


Really comfortable, durable, cute but boring shoes that lasted me through beginner flamenco, tango and salsa classes. (Coincidentally, the first pair of street heels I bought for myself as a teenager resembled character shoes).
After four months of tango classes I went to Buenos Aires and purchased not one, but two pairs of tango shoes. Thrifty.

I went to the holy grail of tango shoes and bought a pair of Comme Il Fauts. They were so beautiful that I knew I was not worthy - so then I had to buy a second, not as nice pair to actually dance in. (A year later I quit tango and my beautiful precious shoes sit sadly, unused, in my closet).

My last pair of dance shoes have just arrived in the mail from Madrid. These are the opposite of the elegant tango shoes. After four years of flamenco I think this might be more than a fling (hi tango & salsa). I've finally purchased a real pair of flamenco shoes. They are tough, clunky shoes with nails on the bottom. They are handmade and feel very old school European. I like to think an old spanish man cobbled them in his workshop.

Is this the end of the road of my dance shoe journey? Or are there other pairs to try? Will I ever use my tango shoes again?

More dancing & blogging

After writing that I don’t think its a good idea to study too many different types of dance at one time (especially for someone like me who works 50-60 hours per week); I started a swing class with my boyfriend.  We’ve been together for just under a year.  He loves to dance, but has never tried formal classes and was really excited about trying one with me.  So last night I was like, yep, let’s do this.  This is where it comes in handy that I’ve tried a few different dance styles and studios across the city.  The most fun and effective partner dance class I’ve tried was this swing school.  Everything about it feels good; from the location to the nice, friendly crowd of people, to the choice of music and the style of teaching.  The curriculum is  precise.  They teach certain steps, in a certain order, and layer movements so that you can get something into your body memory before adding the next step of complexity.  I think people learn faster in these classes than I’ve noticed generally. 

Anyways, he loved it.  Besides the instruction, the music suits his upbeat, perky nature.  And I think the fact that there were lots of young-ish, cool guys made him feel comfortable.  

This morning I started thinking about tango again.  I clicked on my tango blog folder, and found a post about tango quitters.  I.e., me.  After 2 years of tango, I put away my Comme Il Fauts.  The article was one of those snooty, pretentious tango rants about how us quitters just don’t get it.  Well, clearly we don’t, I’m not arguing that.  But I will argue that for a dance that depends so heavily on following, its a futile pursuit when there are no leaders.  Not none, I should say, just no good ones that aren’t your tango teacher.  Plus, learning with leaders who are also learning is just the worst way to learn.  You learn all sorts of overcompensation tricks like memorizing steps; but not how to follow.  The learning curve for North American men is so steep.  Not only have they little dance experience; they tend to have posture with their weight thrown back.  The milongas were also always weird, disappointing experiences.  In my city, at least, it just did not attract a good crowd of people.  I did not want to connect or embrace with anyone there.  So I had no choice but to move on. 

It would be nice to revisit tango one day, when I’m older.  And maybe something will click in the future.  Maybe it won’t terrorize me as much. 

My ongoing rollercoaster relationship with Dance

If this were a real relationship; It woulda died a long time ago.  I’m not a talented dancer; I’m actually more of a visual artist and a writer.  However, I spend 10-12 hours a day working on visual stuff at the job I am paid to do, and well, writing is just another introverted, sitting down activity.  I guess I gravitate to dance because its physical and extroverted, the opposite of my work life. 

For a few years now, dance has been my new weird obsession.  It all started when I took a ballet class (for the first time in over 10 years), and got that runner’s high after the class – and then I was addicted.  Most days I suck, but every now and then I have a really good moment, and that keeps me going. 

When I first started I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that ballet, while my favourite type of dance, is too difficult to pursue for fun.  So I tried a number of dance genres; bellydance, tango, salsa, flamenco, swing, jazz, modern, samba.  It was fun, but also flakey.  It was like I was dating a bunch of different dance genres and studios.  About a couple years ago, I realized that the most progress is made when you commit to a style and a studio.  And so I did. I take ballet and flamenco once a week each.  Flamenco can be really interesting and rewarding, but today in class my teacher was asking us to be expressive and I wanted to hide in the formality of ballet.  Ballet kicks my ass all the time, but it really is my favourite and the idiom I feel most comfortable in.  Perhaps I should’ve gone all in when I started, but now I also feel equally committed to flamenco. 

So has progress been made? Yes, and that’s a blessing in disguise, as I get better the classes get harder and more gruelling.

Lately I’ve been thinking about yoga.  I find yoga boring compared to dance, but I do really enjoy it.  And its not so harsh and unforgiving.  When I have more time I’d like to incorporate a weekly yoga class. 

Yeah, you

I love reading books and blogs about women who travel the world, and I also wanna punch them in throat.  Envy, I believe it is.  I am currently reading “Poser: My life in 23 yoga poses”, about a stressed out thirty-something who is trying to do life perfectly.  I was on her page, relating all along, when somewhere in the middle of the book she mentions that she spent her twenties traveling around the world, carefree as a bird.  I stopped.  I didn’t go through that phase… as much as I wanted to… did I make the wrong choices? It seems we both landed in the same place anyways; stressed out thirty-somethings. 

It wasn’t for lack of trying.  I did briefly live in Europe, and I did live in another province for a spell too.  But it wasn’t really that fun – both situations I was working a lot.  It was more edifying than carefree.  Really, the factor of my twenties that annihilated free-spiritedness boiled down to school.  I wanted to go to university so I ended up with student loans.  I also passionately wanted a creative computer-y job so I went back to school and got more student loans.  Then I started getting digital artist contract jobs and worked hard at proving myself while paying the damn loans.  So,  its about choice really.  At the end of the day, I felt most passionate about getting a job playing with pixels and too insecure that I’d find work in another country in time for the next loan payment.  But still, living a hippie artsy nomadic life was a definite second on my list of what I’d like to do with my life. 

Work, for me, is hugely important to my sense of well-being.  I feel good when I’m productive and doing something I like.  I like contributing to a project that is bigger than me.  I get self-esteem from work, and a sense of security.  I used to hate the routine, but when I added dance classes to my life, I realized how good routine can be.  I always sign up for a term of classes (much more motivating than drop-ins).  And then you don’t think about it – you just go and get better, nano by nano.  The problem is when work takes over your life – like it is doing to me.  Then I don’t have time for the other things I enjoy, and hard to keep up the motivation.

Its also hard to connect to that free-spirited person deep down inside when you’re working 60 hours a week.

Shopping anxiety

I have a limited amount of money (and I’m aware of it), so shopping is a very anxious experience for me.  Despite my also limited amount of time, I feel I have to comparison shop to make sure I am getting the right thing at the right price.  I definitely have problems with ocd, consumption, anxiety, and trying to buy my identity.  Sometimes I buy clothes with this fantasy of who I’d like to be rather than who I am, and then they sit in my closet, but I can’t throw them out because then I’ll be giving up on this idea of who I’d like to be.  So they remain, living out my fantasies in some other dimension.

Today I bought something that I really needed, and is just right for me.  I bought a pair of  sandals that are cute and comfortable.  I walk a lot, and I can imagine myself wearing these sandals around the city and on travels.  Its got that strappy gladiator look without being too heavy or 2008.  Even though they were the first pair I tried on, I still had to bounce through a bunch of stores to “make sure”.  Nonetheless, I felt secure in my purchase and I wish I could shop like this all the time – buying only quality, needed things that I will use and love.  Things that help my life rather than filling my apartment with confusing crap while draining my bank account.